
It’s normal for you to have dating insecurities. You’ve got such high hopes and you’re putting your heart on the line, so it makes sense you’d find yourself a little freaked out now and then. But don’t let your jitters ruin a rendezvous. Some of us are better at hiding them than others. If you are trying to camouflage your self-doubts from your own psyche, you’re killing youself to a good realtionship! And that’s a dating no-no. Take a good look at the following behaviors – chances are, one or more of them are hiding an insecurity and they might be getting in the way of you having the kind of fabulous love life you want.
Dating Insecurities – Playing it cool
Are you too cool for school? Are you better than your exes? Are you too good for love? This attitude, translates to a grade of F – for fear. You’re scared and you’re acting all suave and indifferent, adopting an attitude that doesn’t allow you to show hurt, unhappiness, or disappointment. We get it – it’s a method of self-preservation. But the longer you wear those hypothetical shades and lie about how you’re really feeling, the more you cheat yourself out of true love.
Dating Insecurities – I'm not my daters type
Stressed that Mr./Ms. Might-Be-Right won’t approve of your looks, clothes, career, personality, dating history, and so on? This line of thinking won’t do anything but make you a nervous wreck. A better bet? Flip it. Stressed that Mr./Ms. Might-Be-Right won’t approve of your looks, clothes, career, personality, dating history, and so on? This line of thinking won’t do anything but make you a nervous wreck. So pretend as if your date is the person who’s auditioning for approval — because it’s true. “This will allow you to relax so you can enjoy the moment,".
Dating Insecurities- The ending of the first date feels awkward to me. What's a point in trying for the second date.
Stressing about saying goodnight before you even order dessert can look like this: Kiss or no kiss? Shake hands? Go for a hug? Ask for another date? The best solution is to let your gut guide you. If you had a good time, say so with feeling. If you didn’t, just say “thank you.” And if you’re not sure whether to smooch, just smile broadly, squeeze your date’s hand and turn to depart. It gives your date the perfect opportunity to make a move without any weirdness if he or she doesn’t go for a kiss. “If you two clicked, there will be more dates and the endings will become easier and probably more delicious!”
Dating Insecurities – Looking for problems
Negativity attracts negativity. He or she appears shady? They probably are. The law of attraction brings you what you consciously (or unconsciously) put out to the universe. So when you pull out your little checklist on a date with a new person ( if you literally do this, we have bigger problems to explore) to examine every nook and cranny of their character, you’re going to find faults. You know they have a red flag and your magnifying glass is going to track it down before it whips around and slaps you across the face... Value what is… don’t dig for demons. Truth will come to light, if you see any red flags during dating.
Dating Insecurities – High Expectations
Want a surefire way to stay single? Develop a list of characteristics to identify the kind of person you want, then stick to that equation no matter what. A move like this is the equivalent of walking around with your nose in the air, acting like no one is good enough for you. Your crazy list of deal-breakers is sabotaging your chance at seeing anyone for who they really are – and they could be just right for you.
These dating insecurities are only five of the ways that self-doubts manifest themselves in a new relationship. As soon as you get together with someone new, you’re in danger of letting all your past garbage and worries and frustrations rise to the surface. But you can overcome the temptation to go dumpster diving… you can start fresh and find love, regardless of what’s happened to you in the past, or what you’re worried about happening in the future.
Dating Insecurities - Give yourself a pep talk.
Think “big picture.” Are you acting loony because you're sweating the small stuff? If you're honest with yourself, do you really know better? Are you being silly? Doesn’t he care for you? If not…
Dating Insecurities - Question whether this is the guy for you.
Something (or someone, ahem) is making you batty; it’s either jealousy (he flirts with other girls), the fact that he’s not paying attention to you (because he’s just not that into you), or something else. Whatever it is, taking a deep breath is always a great first step.
Dating Insecurites -Think about what you need—from him, yourself, the universe—in order to stop feeling so awful and vulnerable.
Whatever it is, ask for it directly. Make a request: "I need you to stop flirting with other girls." Or: “I need you to acknowledge me in front of your friends.” Or: “I need you to spend more time with me.” These are reasonable requests and basic needs. So, ask! You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel confident!
Do you waste time being insecure? What do you do when you hear yourself acting insecure?